Conversations with Myself

Carol Dweck, the author of the book Mindset continues to inspire me all these years. Her concept of the growth mindset helped me steer the wheel towards self-development. She wonderfully said "Picture your brain forming new connections as you meet the challenge and learn. Keep on going."

Last holiday season, I went to my hometown to spend my vacation. I thought to myself-- this is probably the best time for me to meditate and evaluate where am I now in my growth plan. For us as workers of the information age, holiday or vacation time is probably the only time when we are able to unplug our minds from work thus giving us time to ponder and meditate. Unless you are the workaholic type who keeps on working even during Christmas Day. Or unless you are the type who likes to realize things when they are at the most unexpected moments such as having a shower or having a dump.

I learned that when your mind is clear you become aware of the thoughts that are running through your head. There are these memories, realizations, worries, plans, goals, reminders, and unfortunately sometimes impure thoughts. I can say that these moments are valuable ones and they could be more valuable if we are able to capture our thoughts to pen and paper. Usually I encourage myself to capture my thoughts and that is why I always see to it that I have my smartphone with me all the time. And by the way, I want to endorse and recommend Microsoft OneNote app. It is a great tool for capturing all those valuable thoughts in your head. You can download it through the windows store, the app store or the play store.

While being amazed with the magnificence of the sun's silhouette when it starts to set off, I pondered-- "I have been working for almost 6 years now and I can't believe I was able to endure those hard moments in my audit life." And by the way, for those of you who are not familiar with how auditors worship their job. During the peak seasons-- and this is when businesses which are on a calendar period, prepare their financial statements for filing -- and auditors during these times work almost 24 hours a day straight even on weekends and holidays. This was the time when our Partner, shouted to my manager and said "You are not doing your job and you are not prioritizing this client! How dare you!" This was also the time when my senior associate, who keeps on pressuring me to do almost all audit works because she had a lot of clients, cursed me and said "What the fuck! Are you still not finished yet?!" Imagine that was 5 in the morning and I haven't slept since 9am the other day.

I sighed and said to myself, "I will never go back to that kind of job ever in my whole life." But somehow, I realized that those moments made me a stronger person. I was exposed to managing a lot of tasks that are on a tight deadline and because of that I improved my efficiency. I was also used to meeting people in the client site which eventually improved my social skills.

Until now, I am still trying to figure out how to perform at my best everyday in every area of my life. As I am composing this speech I strive to finish it as early as possible so that I could start practicing. I feel challenged when I see people having their speeches ready in just few hours. When I started the Basic Speech Project, it usually took me 3 days to prepare for everything.

I imagine my brain right now forming new connections as I continue finalizing this speech. It is probably singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." And it is probably also chanting Confucius' famous quote "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." I know that I still have a lot of improvements to work on and I believe I can accomplish them if I persist.